It’s that time of year. Usually, at this time of year, I’m worrying about how warm it already is. Usually, I’m applying sunscreen, have my summer clothes freshly washed and in place, am throwing off the covers at night and wondering when I’m going to need the fan.
But right now, I’m waiting, no longer patiently, for summer. I need summer. I need a bit of warmth. I need a bit of consistency. I need to rid myself of the cold that is hanging around. I want to pack up my winter wardrobe, for good. I want to stop looking for C’s old woollen cardigan every evening. I want a leg wax to be justified. I want to start thinking about ice coffees and affogatos. I want to want a salad because my simple carbohydrate consumption can’t sustain itself much longer. I want to walk from the station after work and not be fighting the wind.
I want to relax.
We’re off on our first family holiday next week. I went to write that sentence, looked at it and thought, it can’t be true, not our first? But it is. Our first time away, the 5 of us on our own. C says it’ll be nice but he’s not exactly looking forward to it, not like when he and I went away last weekend, alone. But I am. I’m looking forward to a change of scene, a change in momentum, a little bit of SUN just to chill us all out a bit.
Things have been a bit tough in the family dynamics department. Behaviour has escalated to a point C and I are now stumped for ideas about how to cope with it. Whatever we’re doing, we’re doing all wrong. Nothing is working. I feel distant from our beautiful boy and I know he feels the same. He told me last night.
I’m hoping a little bit of summer might be just what he and I need to reconnect. For me, to feel a bit more relaxed and gentle with him and for him, to be able to rid himself of all that pent up energy that makes itself known at home in all the wrong ways.
We’ll see. I am still waiting for summer. But, I know it will come. It will come.
Are you? Is this weather getting you down at all?
* photo source: ivanmarn